it's just that at times it sneaks up on me, that nostalgia does. maybe from a song, a fleeting memory, distant smell...there's just no way to know when it will hit. when I will be forced to stop and remember, usually with a bit of an achy heart. it sounds sad, but really it's not. that's just the way nostalgia rolls. why is nostalgia like that? is it just that as time passes we know with all certainty that we are not infinite? (not sure if that is it.) could it be that I want to relive those days that are now mere memories? (don't think this is it, either.) maybe it's because my memories let me know that life goes on, and that every moment that passes is one that I will be nostalgic for. (I may be getting closer.)
hmmm, this is may be getting a bit deeper than I had intended.
but anyway, nostalgia. I am a nostalgic kind of girl. I remember my past and the people in it, mostly with a happy heart. it keeps me grateful. I am actively nostalgic (actively nostalgic? what does that even mean?) I am truly grateful for the people and times in my life, now and remembered. I don't like to live or think regrets.
again, not really sure where this is going!
The times when I allow myself to daydream, I walk down memory lane, straight to my childhood. I see every detail, hear every creak in the floor. I walk myself through the years, not one bit surprised I can remember it so well. after all, I lived it. I don't know what this does for me, this memory walk that I do, but I do it anyway. in this walk my parents are young, much younger than I am now. We are all strong, healthy and idealist. happy. in my heart I hold those memories. the nostalgia.
I miss it.
oh yeah, that's where I was going.
Mom's applesauce cake
2 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1 stick butter (room temperature)
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 jar apple sauce or home made
Cream together the butter and sugar. Add the egg and mix until blended. Mix in the flour and baking powder until it all comes together. Gather the dough into a ball and press it into a small buttered baking sheet ( I use a quarter sheet). Spread applesauce over the dough.
1 stick cold butter
1 1/4 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon almond extract
Mix together with your hands, unless they are really hot, the ingredients for the topping and crumble it on top of the applesauce. Bake at 350* for 30 to 35 minutes or until everything is brown a bubbly.