bucket list...

 I'm still in a summer state of mind, just in case you are wondering. I'm currently trying to catch up on my weeding, remember what day of the week it is, and working on my bucket list. It's making me a little nervous what with thinking about my own mortality and all, but I'm sticking to my new mantra...do it scared! so I am. That little phrase is opening up a whole new way of life for me. A time where trying new things does not turn me into a nail biting, hair twirling puddle, and the thought of flying excites rather than terrifies me. So, in what surely qualifies as an ah-ha moment, I came full-circle. My list may not look like much now, but in my head I have visions of greatness for it.  I am, straight up in love with it. Completely infatuated with it. I kinda had an inkling I would be, but now I know for sure. I'm striving for less is more and trying to over come that sinking, over whelming, I've taken on more than I can handle feeling. I set out to share time with my people, to share joy, be in the moment, and I am left feeling satisfied. In the beginning it seemed innocent enough, maybe I was only being naive thinking it was nothing more than eye candy. window dressing. wishful thinking. It was so pretty, so soft and easy it was able to hook me, right away. Truth be told, it's moved right in, taken over and grown roots. I'm up to my eye balls in it, fear only a distant memory. So, as I hold these thoughts in my hands, turning them over and over, wearing them as smooth as sea glass, I'm ready. I will surely emerge feeling brand new. I love my life. I want to smooch it on the head.

Now that you have endured my ramblings, I will reward you with one item from my ever growing bucket list. Even though I'm kinda fickle and tend to change my mind a lot, here's my truth...for reasons untold I have always wanted to learn ballroom dancing. My ancestry is chock full of great dancers. And, I admit to having two left feet and being a bit of a klutz. There is no cure for it, so please don't slay me over it. Even worse, I love watching old musicals and trying to dance along. When I was five I thought I was Shirley Temple until I danced right into the door jamb and had to have three stitches in my forehead. I remember reading books about Marie Antoinette, soaking in the romance of it all, I just could not get enough. It was an obsession that had me dreaming about going to the ball and cursing in French. This went on for for years weeks. The dancing was fabulous and the cursing sounded so sophisticated, so delicious, so ohhh, la la. Mais bien sur!

I found myself fantasizing about dancing and wearing those pouffy dresses (while in reality I was wearing flannel pajama pants). hmmm...I wondered if I would have been a good countess? Then I remembered how I cringe when anyone calls me ma'am or heaven forbid madam. So, I'm thinking not...plus, going to all those balls and social extravaganzas also would have been exhausting, as it is I practically need an act of congress to get my butt out of the house. So, maybe it's not really my era, I do love my modern comforts after all , but it would have been cool to see. I've often thought that if I could have a super power, I would choose time travel. Can you imagine? time travel. Oh swoon!

So, is it just me or does everyone think they can dance? I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm one of those girls who thinks she can ...but, really I can't. yes I know, hard to imagine. so I guess it's at this point that I'm wondering-why did I not do this before. I've thought about it forever, mulled it over in my mind for years, talked about it endlessly. begged the hubs to go with me. but alas that's as far as it went. I never actually signed up. well...I'm doing it now, baby! I am signing on the dotted line. Crossing one more thing off of my bucket list.
I am inevitably fascinated and attracted to things I can't do. I've been thinking about how to make this move for a long time. my first thought was how I would so be doing this if I had someone to go with, but...pause~and absorb, I~am~going~alone! I am jumping on the dancing bandwagon!!! It makes me feel kinda wobbly in my knees. Won't it just be the cat's meow to be able to do the dance du jour in a kicky little outfit? I am so pumped! Dude, I just love the way my brain works and I live for the day when I get all kittened up and glide across the dance floor.

 I know it's a bit more complicated than a fancy schmancy outfit and a spray on tan but I'm ready! tee-hee...that's what I love about myself, I can talk me into just about anything. Rest assured there with be sore feet, tears and drama. Did I mention there will be drama? Lacking a team of experts to make me "dancing with the stars" gorgeous, I will make do with what I've got, donning my expandable pants, dime store make-up and slipping my two left feet into my moccasins.

Cornmeal and Raisin Cookies


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