dark side

I was listening to the radio on my way to meet my sister the other day and Dark Side by Kelly Clarkson came on. I immediately thought oh good grief... I don't have that. A dark side....


Well I do have a couple of shall we say, issues?

For one, I don't like the way Chipolte rolls their burritos. I don't know why they can't just roll them like any normal person making a burrito would. Someone had to finally take a stand, so I gave the dude behind the counter my best Norma Rae speech. I'm pretty sure he completely agreed with me and passed it on to the higher ups who will take immediate action. Seriously, you just can't roll up a burrito this way and expect it to be an enjoyable eating experience.  

You just can't.

I have heard it said that a virtue and a vice are opposite sides of the same coin.  They are related and while I don't like to mix metaphors (I'm gonna anyway), I like to think of a vice as being the nth degree of a virtue.  The place where the virtue has become smug and self absorbed and likes to judge others.

I know.

Take for example the above story of the virtue of order, logic, and reason.. okay, that's actually three things that may or may not be virtues or in any way related with virtues but still they are really good things gone terribly awry.  I do have those qualities and on the face of it, they are good.  But when taken off the leash, they can easily develop into controlling, irrational and left alone in the parking lot with your wonky rolled burrito. 

Dark side.

I also have honesty, which is definitely a virtue.  Right? Honesty if not properly tended can show up as brutal honesty, or just plain mean.  That's never a good thing.  People say "you always know where you stand with that one".  I like that and take it as a compliment.  I think mostly it's meant as one but I've also been a witness to the visible flinching of someone as I try to explain why something they are doing, saying, wearing, etc. is just plain wrong.  Just trying to help.

Dark side.

I also have individualism and don't help me-ness.  What I like to call a spirit of independence, of I can figure it out myself-itude.

I want to be unique.  I want to do it the right way my way.  I want to accomplish things on my own. I don't need anyone's help. The nth degree of this particular virtue is probably becoming clear as you read this... I sound like a three year old screaming I CAN DO IT ALL BY MYSELF.

That's one aspect of independence gone awry.  But the worst of it is that it wanes understanding for those who would admit that they need help.  It will view needing others as a weakness.  I am absolutely guilty of that kind of judgment.

It may be my darkest side.

I've been working really hard on this in the past few years and I can definitely feel my heart has softened.  I have a beautiful teacher, the hubs.

He is the opposite of me in that area.  He is the yin to my dark side yang.

On the positive side, I love comradeship and bonding and people and love and flowers and puppies and sharing. I will lend out my car, my money and my house. I will take in strays. I will literally give you the shirt off my back.  I will drive through the night to come get you.  I will give money to the guy with the sign.  every single time. I just can't help it.  

I buy girl scout cookies and magazine subscriptions and new band uniforms whenever they come by. I will donate to the food bank and homeless shelter. Fight, Pray for and cry over any abuse and injustice. I will make up the bed and cook you a meal. I'm not perfect but I try to be a compassionate person with a giving heart.  And if I forget, the hubs will show me the way.

Cause he loves me. Even in my dark side.

At this point, you may think he's winning but he's not because I've tallied everything up.  If anything it's a tie.  Or I'm a little bit ahead.

Dark side.

just sayin'.

corn and crab fritters
1 cup flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
3 TBS chopped chives
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp ground red pepper 
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 eggs
3/4 cups corn
8oz. lump crab meat, picked over
1/4 cup vegetable oil

Combine flour, cornmeal, chives, baking powder, salt, and red pepper in a large bowl. Mix.
Combine buttermilk and eggs in a bowl and mix well. Add egg mixture, corn and crab meat to the flour mixture, stirring gently.

Heat a large skillet with 2 TBS oil. Heat till oil is hot and shimmery. Drop 4,  1/4 cup  cup batter mounds in the pan.  Cook on one side for 4 minutes until golden brown, turn and cook for 2 minutes longer.  Repeat adding 2 TBS oil to pan until all the batter is used. Keep in a warm oven.
Serve with tartar sauce.


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