just wanted to say some stuff.

So here's something ridiculous.


I'm having trouble writing my blog.  Actually, I'm having trouble finding time to sit down and write my blog.  I can't seem to find two seconds to stop and write.  Don't ask.  It's a bunch of self inflicted stuff, all of which I absolutely love but some I will have to pare down in the coming months if I want to keep my sanity.

Today is a drive by. Cut me some slack. I just wanted to hear your voice.  You know, wanted to reconnect.

At the risk of sounding like I'm putting out my greatest hits album, here's some stuff.

Winter's lease was up yesterday, but it's always a good idea to keep an eye on it, you just never know. One day ten degrees, the next forty three. They are predicting snow for Sunday. As far as spring goes, it does whatever the heck it wants. so, I'm doing the same. here's how I have been coping...

eating grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup for dinner in my pajamas.

buying a new pair of shoes that are not  Polar Vortex snow boots. I know, #rebel-rouser. Hand to heart, I always get a little rush from this.

Showering, get properly dressed, and dabbing perfume on my wrists. No mascara or eye shadow tho,  because, well, that's just crazy talk.

 Making the bed and buying fresh flowers. Just do it, you have no idea how good this feels.

I know, well alrighty then. That's it.  I'm on the edge over here.

But, no really.  I'm still making changes,

 I've been getting rid of a lot of stuff in my life that I don't need, (material and otherwise) and living a life based more on relationships and experiences. It's about a balanced life.  It's about getting off the treadmill and maybe just a little off the grid.

It's about less stuff.

But it's more than that.  It's a bucket list of sorts and a mission statement as well.

First I'm starting with  what I need to change in order to find contentment.  Things I must do (not should do) in order to find the life I'm looking for.  Ideally, I can then remove the items in my life that aren't contributing to the accomplishment of this goal.  Which will turn out to be a whole bunch of material crap.

I can then focus on what's important like improvement, fulfillment and enrichment... you know, all the ments.

This is my must list:

I must write every day.

I must eat healthy every day (allowing for occasional breakdowns of course).

I must connect with someone OUTSIDE of my home every day, otherwise I may suffer from the moody blues, we've talked about this before.

I must connect to someone INSIDE my home every day.

I must make my home a safe haven.

I must support and encourage a friendship once a week through a phone call or a person to person. (You have all been warned).

I must exercise at least six five four three times per week.

I must do yoga and pray/meditate every day.

I must contribute to someone else's betterment at least once a week.

I must read every day (I'm absolutely out of sorts if I don't have a good book going).

I must count my blessings every day, and make every moment count.

sooooo...
In order to eat healthy every day, I must be able to cook.  So my pots and pans and utensils serve that purpose.

My kindle (Ken doll as I call it) houses my books.  A must for me.  I need that for the "must read" on my must list.

My laptop enables my research and my writing so that's a must.  Fine.  It does facebook and email and other things too.

I need plates and forks and a bed and some furniture a car some clothes and a gym membership to do almost every single thing on my list.  Let's face it - everything else could go.  It won't.  But it could.

There's just a lot of extra stuff.

I've come to this "less stuff" conclusion every so often in my life, usually right before I go and buy a new pair of boots.  But seriously, you should always buy the boots. Things are at odds sometimes.  I know, darling, this is the gray area.

What I know for sure is that I have too much.
I'm not saying it's all bad.  I'm probably along the Oprah "fewer things better quality" viewpoint but if I really look around me, the stuff in my line of sight, I have a dining room I've barely set foot in with a table I don't eat on.

I've got piles of DVD movies with no DVD player.  I've got gadgets I don't know how to use and a garage full of things to use in case of a party, flood, or tornado. 

I've got lots of stuff I just don't use.  Maybe I never did.  Maybe I did but haven't for years.

I've got a "to go" cake platter.  First I don't bake cakes any more.  Second I don't take cakes to parties.

I've got coffee filters for a coffee maker I threw away four years ago.  I've cinnamon sticks and mulling spices for the holiday party I never threw.  I've got large flasks for the infused fruit vodka experiment.  Really?

I've got platters and bowls and vases in abundance.  I've got tins I don't need and matching coffee thermoses from when we used to bootleg in Baileys and coffee to Friday night games at our son's rugby matches.  For us, not the kids.  Jeez.

I've got parfait cups for the desserts I make to serve at all the dinner parties I'm having. Yes still being sarcastic.  

As the hubs says "I shop for a life I don't actually lead".

All of this stuff is going.  I don't need it.

The hubs loves when I get on this de-clutter/minimalistic kick.  It usually means me asking him when we can get rid of the speakers he's dragged around for 15 years but never actually used.  Or when he might think about getting rid of the box of cables we have for electronics we don't own and they don't even manufacture any more.  It's typically a huge fight that digresses immediately into "I'll get to it next week-end" or "we should have never gotten married".

These are sensitive issues and people like their stuff.

Next up is my closet.

I'll take "Things I Can Control for $200 Alex".

I actually cull out my closet at least twice a year so that makes me a good person but then that begs the question.

Why do I have to cull out my closet at least twice a year?

I'm making a vow or maybe more like a loosely bound suggestion to myself that I stop buying clothes I don't need.  I don't have to have a hard landing here.  Why don't I  just take a moment and really consider the ramifications of that.   Let's meet back here again in a month and see if that idea still has merit.

Because really that's what we're talking about here.  I can get rid of a bunch of stuff but can I stop buying more stuff?  Stuff I don't really need.

I'm doing it.  I said it and I'm doing it.  For a month anyway.

I do solemnly swear that for the next 30 days I will not buy an item I do not need.  I won't spend money on anything that does not directly relate to the Must List.  Further I'm going to continue to look around for things I can sell or get rid of.  The seed is planted and now nothing is safe.

Because that's it.  I've had it.  Again.

P.S. I'm getting my hair done this Saturday and it's going under the "connect with the one inside my home" on the must list because the hubs likes my hair done and that's how that's going to get spun. Hmmm.  What else?

Oh I know.

I'm starting my spring cleaning inside and out, joined a new gym, swamping out the yard and garden and started walking/running again, and just dusted off the old roller blades because I think I'm still thirty eight.  Enough said there.  I don't have any before and after pics to insert here.  What I should post is me soaking in an Epson Salt bath since that's my life now.  I just re-read that and I can now see how that would be a problem.

Yeah, it's busy around here and these next few months aren't letting up.  Still, I'm grateful for this season in my life, it's way better than having too much time on my hands.  Bear with me as I sort out my schedule and figure out moments to sit down and say stuff.

Stuff about wrinkles (gross) and redecorating (which really means new throw pillows or painting) and tough love for myself, new phases of life and reaching out and being helpful, hugging more and zoning out some (where are the chips and salsa?) and Orange is the New Black (just read the book) and kookiness and it takes all kinds and faith and love and friends and being happy.

 The usual.

just wanted to say some stuff.

'Cause I missed you.

Crab Pot Pie

2 tablespoons plus 1⁄2 cup unsalted butter, divided
3 cups chopped leeks
1 cup chopped celery 
1 cup chopped carrots 
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups peeled, diced russet potatoes 
2 (8-ounce) bottles clam juice
2 teaspoons lemon zest
1 1/2 teaspoons seafood seasoning
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground red pepper
1 cup frozen peas
1 pound lump crabmeat, drained and picked
1 (14.1-ounce) package refrigerated pie crusts
1 large egg, beaten 

1. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in a large Dutch oven over medium heat. Add next 3 ingredients; cook 5 minutes. Stir in flour; cook 1 minute. Add potatoes and next 5 ingredients; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Remove from heat.

2. Melt remaining 1⁄2 cup butter in a small skillet over medium-low heat. Cook 3 to 4 minutes, stirring constantly, until butter is golden brown and fragrant. Stir browned butter, peas, and crabmeat into vegetable mixture.

3. Unroll pie crusts on work surface; invert 6 (10-ounce) ramekins or custard cups onto pie crusts. Cut around edges of ramekins with the tip of a sharp knife to make circles. Spoon crab mixture evenly into ramekins. Whisk together egg and 1 tablespoon water. Brush pie crust circle edges with egg wash; place 1 circle, egg wash side down, over crab mixture in each ramekin, pressing down to seal to 4 slits in each crust to vent. Place on a foil- or parchment-lined baking sheet.

4. Bake at 375° for 25 to 30 minutes or until golden brown.